Don’t Let Your Spouse Define Who You Are

Divorce will impact your self-esteem

Defining your self-worth or tying your self-esteem to your spouse makes confronting a troubled marriage even more difficult. Sometimes, working on your self-esteem first will give you the courage to address your marriage while other times, divorce will force you. My current guest, Carol Round was married for 28 years and has been divorced now […]

Divorce Is A Personal Decision

You need time to figure out all the divorce-related changes

Divorce is a personal decision – no one other than you or your spouse can make that decision. Most of us want to look back on the decision to divorce and to feel with a high degree of certainty that we did what we could to make the marriage work and that divorce was the […]

Divorce Advice For Others

Children will always benefit from at least some counselling following their parents' divorce

Getting divorce advice from other people can be confusing. It’s obviously going to varying depending on that person’s experience and your particular circumstances means that some advice may not apply to you. The advice may change with time also because time helps to bring a different perspective and perhaps a different understanding to a situation. It’s been some […]

Understanding Divorce: The Importance of An Open Mind

Things not always how they seem

By Tara Eisenhard “We don’t see things as they are.  We see things as we are.” –Anais Nin Divorce is often a life-consuming event, and it consumes all participants in a different manner. It’s only natural that we perceive ourselves as playing a certain role in our divorce, and the perception is frequently validated by […]

Divorce May Be The Best Option

Life after divorce can be better

Divorce may be a choice but generally it’s a choice of last resort. Most people would prefer not to be faced with the choice. In this last segment with Lucy, Lucy reflects on how people reacted to her divorce and how her life might have been different if she hadn’t chosen divorce. Here’s Lucy:  After […]

Reflecting on Divorce

Why are you afraid to talk about your marital problems

Divorce changes you. If you’re willing to do the work and not be defensive, divorce will teach you important life skills and lead you to contentment. When you’re in the early stages of separating or the thick of legal battles I know that can be hard to believe.  In this last post with my current […]

I Got Married And Divorced For My Son

An unplanned pregnancy is no longer a reason to get married

My current guest Donna and her husband got married shortly after their son was born. Without him, they likely would not have married. Here’s Donna reflecting on that decision: [contemplate1] I find it ironic sometimes when I think that the main reason I got married was for my son so that he could have a dad. […]

Divorce is About Sharing

Divorce is a time to allow friends to support you

Divorce for most of us is a very private, intensely personal time. Often times it’s the culmination of long periods of struggle during which time the public face of our marriage portrays a very different picture. Letting go of the facade and going public with your divorce then comes as a relief. Sharing your experience […]

I Should Have Left My Marriage Sooner

Ending a bad marriage can be as healthy as losing weight

One question I often ask my interviewees is, “With the benefit of hindsight is there anything you have done differently?” When I asked Two Kids And a Fish this she said she would have left sooner. Here’s Two Kids And a Fish to explain: [contemplate1] Is there anything I would’ve done differently? I would have […]

Feeling Guilty For Your Divorce

Divorce is an emotional roller coaster

Two Kids And a  Fish’s marriage ended over two years ago now. It’s been a period of coming to accept she was being abused, of having to fight for child custody, protecting her daughters to break the cycle of violence and feeling guilty about divorce. I asked her to reflect on what has been the hardest part […]