Accepting An Absent Dad

You can make your ex be the parent you'd like

When one parent is essentially absent after divorce, there are pluses and minuses. There may be fewer conflicts but there’s less support for when times are tough, the lack of a role model/parent figure and less financial resources. But perhaps the most difficult challenge is accepting that your ex just won’t/can’t parent in the way […]

A Mentally Unstable Ex

Your ex's public image may be different from how he is in private.

If you’re unlucky enough to have a difficult ex after divorce then one of the most perplexing, time-consuming puzzles may be trying to understand or rationalize their behavior. There’s the argument that you shouldn’t try. Just accept it for what it is because the only thing you can control is your own behavior and reactions. Conversely, understanding […]

Your Ex – The Stranger in Your Life

Your ex - a stranger now

As you contemplate divorce or as your spouse tells you your marriage is over, you find yourself wondering who is this person you married. Who is this person you thought you knew? Divorce coach, Lee Brochstein it’s a feeling that could stay with you for years to come. Here’s Lee: [contemplate1] The first time your […]

Watching Your Ex Change

Don't surprised when your ex changes after you're gone

One of the challenges of life after divorce is watching your ex change, change in ways you’ve wanted, change for the better. Nancy B had pleaded with her husband for years to get better help for his fears and anxiety and once she’d moved out, he did. Here’s Nancy B: [contemplate1] Once I moved out, […]

Starting Over With Your Ex After Divorce Court

Limit the number of texts to your ex

Child custody battles are about winners and losers. Marjorie’s joy at gaining shared custody of her daughter in addition to a financial settlement that included spousal support, a share of her husband’s retirement assets and no liability for the marital debts has a flip side: her ex’s loss. Clearly the settlement is not what he […]

Dating The Parent Of Your Child’s Friend Is Weird

One-on-one parenting is important

When your ex starts dating can often bring a flood of emotions especially if his new partner is a friend or former friend of yours and even worse if they were dating before you broke up. What can also be a strange situation is when your ex starts dating the mother of one your child’s […]

With Hindsight Your Ex Agrees Divorce Was Best Decision

pretending

When Michelle talked about making a conscious decision to be happy and not to play into the drama of her ex dating the mother of her daughter’s friend, I wanted to know more about how she was able to do that without ignoring her feelings. Was it just a process of rationalizing the decisions she’d […]

Dealing With Your Ex is a Choice

Dealing with your ex is a choice

Michelle and her husband separated in August 2010. Today, just eighteen months later Michelle is happy for her ex which is quite remarkable considering that by the time she’d gotten to be serious about divorce, communication between her and her husband had reached the point where she truly felt that couples therapy was not option. […]

One Way To Escape A Vindictive Ex

One way to stop a vindictive ex

A common mistake by many people in the early stages of divorce, is thinking they won’t have to deal with their STBX once the legal process is done. That may be true if you’re childless but if you have children together, there will likely always be some connection.That’s not the only situation. Another possibility is […]

Dealing With A Mean, Vindictive Ex

A mean, vindictive ex

After their confrontation in the therapist’s office where Lisa’s husband finally confessed to a prior long term relationship with a man, he moved out. Lisa had already filed for divorce and she’d pleaded with him not to make it difficult. However, she had no idea just what a mean and vindictive ex he would be. […]