Wisdom From Divorce: Marriage May Not Mean A Happy Home

In the turmoil of the end of your marriage, it’s reassuring to know that children of divorce can have happy homes too. The biggest factor in my divorces was my children and how it was going to affect them. I wanted my children to see a happy home and it didn’t necessarily involve a marriage. […]

Wisdom From Divorce: 50/50 Parenting Is Not For The Children

The trend today in parenting after divorce is equal time shared between both parents. Typically this is measured by the number of overnights the child has with each parent. While this may seem to fair to the parents, there’s a growing movement that says it’s not in the child’s best interest. It’s my belief, and […]

Wisdom From Divorce: Do You Fantasize About Your Spouse Dying?

Wishing your spouse would die is an undeniable sign that your marriage is in serious trouble and it’s time to face reality. I kept thinking we were in our late twenties and there was no way I was going to be able to divorce this man. Maybe he’ll be killed in a car accident. I […]

Wisdom From Divorce: The World Is A Scary Place After Divorce

Divorce often means living by yourself afterwards and if you’ve never done this before or it’s been a long time, then learning to take care of yourself can be quite intimidating: I was one of those people who moved out of their parents’ house and into their husband’s. I didn’t learn to take care of […]

Wisdom From Divorce: Divorce Does Not Mean Broken

Much of the language around divorce is negative and that sub-consciously sets expectations for what ending a marriage is going to be like. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy and yet, it doesn’t have to be that way: I intentionally want to try to change this mis-language of broken and ex’s. It’s deeply embedded in our culture but hopefully we […]

Wisdom From Divorce: Adult Children Still Need Support

Advice about how to tell your young children about your divorce is plentiful but there’s less information on handling your adult children. Perhaps that’s because we think they’re grown up and better able to cope, better able to understand. The reality however is that they still need support: There were times when I wasn’t as […]

You Are Still A Parenting Team

How children handle divorce is heavily influenced by the degree of post-divorce conflict between you and your ex. One of the most obvious areas for that is with your parenting: My parents did not take any of my crap. If I were to play off one against the other, they knew and both of them […]

Wisdom From Divorce: Are You Being Realistic About Money?

There’s almost always less money after divorce and that means adjusting your spending to your new budget: Adjusting to having less money was definitely a change. I wasn’t used to it and not that I’m a big spender or that I’m really irresponsible with money, I never have been but my budget was just suddenly […]

Wisdom From Divorce: Does The Thought Of Living Alone Frighten You?

A universal truth about divorce is that there’s almost always less after divorce and one way in which there’s less is you no longer have a partner to share the load of daily living. The mere thought of that can be scary: Living alone was a trial by fire. Every time something happened, I was […]

Wisdom From Divorce: Nobody Else Can Do Your Divorce For You

One of the hard realizations of a troubled marriage is that no one else can make the decision to end your marriage. It’s either you or your spouse: I was always kind of inactive in my life, kind of passive. I would sit around and complain that nothing good was happening to me and and […]