Another aspect of life after divorce is your relationship with your ex’s family and you may be wondering if divorcing your spouse means divorcing your in-laws.
This is obviously influenced by the relationship you’ve had with them during the marriage and I think also by the duration of your marriage. It’s also a two-way street – both parties have to want to keep the relationship alive and both have to decide not to take sides.
Judy had been married for twenty-eight years – plenty long enough to forge relationships with her ex’s family. When I asked her how things were between her and her former in-laws, here’s the story she told me:
Four or five years ago, my youngest daughter had gone to my former sister-in-law’s house for their Thanksgiving dinner – we always used to have Thanksgiving with his family. Anyway that year, she said to me,
“Mom, something tells me I need to go this year.”
And I was fine with that. My mother-in-law, her grandma was in a nursing home and on the Saturday they had all had dinner there with her. Later my daughter called and said,
“Mom, grandma died this afternoon.”
I really wanted to go and be with them then. My former sister-in-law was fine with me going and I ended up staying at her house.
I went to the funeral and I saw my ex – he was staying somewhere else because there wasn’t room at his sister’s. I would not have recognized him. He had lost so much weight. He did bring his wife and I met her briefly. I chatted with my ex’s brothers and sisters and cousins. Nobody ever said a word about the divorce. They were so glad that I had come. Keep reading to find out what the divorce coach says …