My daughter came home the other day and told me I had to watch this TED talk about vulnerability – her English teacher had shown it to the class because the book they’re reading currently is all about vulnerability. The talk is by Brené Brown who introduces herself as a researcher-storyteller. She studies human connection and during her research she says she went through a breakdown or a spiritual awakening, as her therapist called it. There’s so much in her talk that connects to divorce and I think watching this may help you understand some of your own reactions to the end of your marriage.
Some of my favorite snippets:
Connectedness is limited by shame and the less you talk about it, the more you have.
Worthiness – People who have a strong sense of love and belonging have a strong sense that they are worthy of love and belonging.
Courage is telling the story of who you are with your heart.
People who feel the most connected have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves and then to others, develop connections as a result of authenticity, and fully embrace vulnerability.
What makes you vulnerable also makes you beautiful.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love and joy. You can’t selectively numb vulnerability – if you numb the pain, you also numb the joy.
Blame is a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
Ultimately we need to strive to let ourselves be truly seen, to love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee, to practice gratitude and joy, and to believe, I am enough.
This is twenty minutes long but I really hope you take the time to watch it.It’s had a profound impact on me.
I believe stories have the power to change the world, opening us up to new possibilities and compassion for our fellow beings.
I believe by sharing our divorce stories we can help each other, make the process of ending your marriage less traumatic for others, create a greater acceptance for divorce and most importantly do our very best for our children.
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