Falling In Love After Divorce

I’m wrapping up Two Kids And A Fish’s story and I had to save this segment to last because it’s a Cindrella ending. The more interviews I’ve done, the more I tell myself how important it is not to buy into cultural or societal expectations or fairy tales—am I getting cynical or being realist? But, I’m always hoping for a happy ending especially after a difficult, traumatic divorce. So this segment is about falling in love again after divorce. To get the full story you’re giong to have to follow the links back to Two Kids And a Fish’s blog … Here’s Two Kids And a Fish:

[contemplate1] Since I’ve gone through all this, I’ve met someone – the Spaniard. We are communicating. After we met he got assigned over to Europe but he’s back in the U.S now. Not in my state, but he’s back in the U.S. and I heard from him this morning.

Falling in love after divorceIt’s almost unbelievable to me that I’m seeing someone who is ten years my junior who thought I was the same age or even younger than he. It took me a while to accept it. It took me a month to just have coffee with him. It took me another month to accept a dinner invitation. A dinner we never had. I do regret that but I know I wasn’t ready and you move as fast as you’re ready for. I took some baby steps. I took very small baby steps.

Hopefully he and I will see each other soon. I don’t know what to call it. I don’t know what the relationship is. I have no idea what you would label it, if you would label it or not but, we enjoy each other’s company. We talk almost every day. We’ll take it from there and we’ll see how it goes.

In the meantime, locally there’s another gentleman calling. I’m enjoying life. I didn’t think I could be this happy. I really didn’t. And this is pretty frickin’ fabulous.

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Aside from loving a happy ending, the dating a younger man made me smile. When I went through the Fit4Love dating coaching program my coach and I got to talking about characteristics of potential dates, I think I remember her suggesting forty-five to sixty-five. I’m almost fifty-five and I immediately said that I couldn’t see myself dating someone who was forty-five, fifty maybe but not forty-five. On my online dating profile I have a pretty narrow range – fifty to sixty, I think. Maybe I shouldn’t be so conditioned? Maybe I should be more open? If I ignored age completely would that mean focusing more on the person?

I love too how Two Kids And a Fish doesn’t know what to call her relationship with the Spaniard and is willing to let it evolve. That’s also something my coach covered during the program … a date is just date. It’s not a marriage proposal so go and enjoy it and just take the relationship one date at a time.

How important is your date’s age to you? Do you have an ideal age range? Are we conditioned into thinking partners should be x years older or y years younger? Why?

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I want to thank Two Kids And A Fish for sharing her story and for being willing to talk about domestic violence. She and I both hope it will encourage someone else to have the courage to stand up to abuse and make a change for the better.

Coming up next I have a variety of posts: a review and giveaway of the parental alienation book “A Family’s Heartbreak” by Michael Jeffries with Dr. Joel Davies, a couple of guest articles around losing weight after divorce, some smart financial advice from regular guest blogger, Suzanne Cramer and since September is National Disaster Preparedness month, I’ll be sharing my family’s emergency evacuation plan. Hope you’ll keep reading.

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