Finding Love Unexpectedly After Divorce

They say love happens when you’re least expecting it and that’s what happened to Lauren. Just to refresh your memory, Lauren has been divorced now for two years. She was with her husband for ten years (married for five) and together they have a four-year-old son.

I read on Lauren’s blog, My Life Incomplete, that she had a boyfriend – she described him as “the one.”  I asked her if she was expecting to fall in love again so soon after her divorce. Here’s her story.

***

I wasn’t out looking for it. It was a last minute trip to visit a girlfriend out of town. She’s married and we were going out for dinner with three other couples. I’ve known them for the last seven years or so. Anyway, there happened to be this extra guy there – he was the brother of one of the friends and was going through the whole divorce thing also.

My divorce was final but his wasn’t. He had already moved out, had bought a home but the divorce proceeding weren’t final.

After that night we just started talking on the phone. We lived two hours away from each other so there was really no expectation that it would turn into any kind of relationship. We weren’t talking about dating. It was more about divorce. None of my friends had been through divorce so it was good to have someone to talk who understood what I was experiencing.

About a month after we had met, he took me to a Cubs game, which is my favorite thing to do in the summer. We had a great time and then he came back up to visit again not long after that. We went for a bite to eat and I said, “It’s really too bad that we really enjoy each others’ company so much and nothing could ever come from this because of all our baggage.”

“I haven’t ruled anything out,” he replied.

And I suddenly thought to myself, ‘Why am I ruling things out?’ It didn’t take long before I was pretty sure I was in love. We live two hours away from each other so it’s certainly not a relationship of convenience. I would be seeing him if it wasn’t worth it.

***

You can read about Lauren’s dinner that evening at her post Foreign Ground.

I think I’m still a hopeless romantic at heart and I love hearing hearing stories like Lauren’s. It gets even better too – wait till you hear about the incredible relationship she now has with her ex and his girlfriend. There aren’t too many blended families like this.

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  • nicole 86

    Exactly what I needed to read this evening after an awful day back to work and a phone with ex-mother in law.
    How can I be 59 year old and so silly !

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/SinceMyDivorce SinceMyDivorce

      Hi Nicole – Doesn't matter how old we are, we can all have bad days at work and that makes us a whole lot more vulnerable to people pushing our buttons. My advice? Push all those thoughts away for the night and come back to them when you're rested. Then think about why the ex-MIL upset you. Thanks for visiting – hope you'll be back.

  • http://runpippirun.blogspot.com Pippi

    I can only hope that one day the "dust will settle" and I my ex and I can be friends again, for our children. Lauren's story gives me hope.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/SinceMyDivorce SinceMyDivorce

      Hi Pippi – I do think emotions calm down after a while and that may allow for your relationship to transition. How long that take, I think varies from person to person and the circumstances of the divorce play into that also.

  • VeryMuchTrue

    finding love again for a straight man like me is very difficult, especially after being married for fifteen years. with most of the women that are now playing very hard too get and have such a very bad attitude problem, certainly makes it much more difficult for us very serious men that are looking for a love life today.

    • http://sincemydivorce.com Mandy Walker

      VeryMuchTrue – I’m sorry to hear your frustrated with dating. I’m associated with another site – http://www.fit4love.com – we posts lots of dating and romance tips there and have a terrific self-study program for changing the way you date so you can find the partner you want.