God’s Plan After Divorce

After Kristi left her marriage, she made a list to start her new life. It was a list of everything she would look for in new relationship that she didn’t have in her marriage. And soon she was in a relationship that she now says was very similar to her marriage. She remembers very clearly what helped her end that relationship and that was accepting that God had a plan for her. Here’s Kristi.

God has always played a part in my life and He has a plan for me. I didn’t always believe that but as soon as I figured out He had a plan for me and I let Him take charge and lead the way, life got much easier.

I had gone out with a guy for maybe two years after my separation. He lived in Mississippi so it was a long-distance relationship and it wasn’t a very good one. We had a mutual friend and I was talking to her one day when she said,

“I think it’s time you and I just start praying that either this thing will end and you can go on, or he will figure it out and you guys can together and it’ll all work. There’s got to be somebody out there that will be the right person for you and I know God has that person for you.”

I thought about what she said and I started praying about it. That day, for some reason was the beginning point for me. That relationship ended not long after that conversation and my life became peaceful after that. There was no more drama in that regard. I felt like I had to go through that to get to where I was at and He was trying to show me something. He had a plan and He knew I needed to learn another lesson.

It wasn’t two months after that, this fabulous guy walked right into my office. I’d known him and worked with him for a couple of years. We never spoke, he always courteous and nice. He knew I was divorced and he was just like some men are, scared to death of a woman who’s been through a nasty divorce.

He was also recently divorced and I ‘d heard he’d started dating a gal who had six kids. That day in my office, I said,

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

He looked at me kind of funny and I said,

“A woman with six kids? That’s a huge responsibility. Are you sure you want to go down that road?”

He looked at me and said,

“I don’t think so. I actually don’t date her anymore.”

I said, “OK” and he walked out the door. The next day he called and said,

“Would you like to have lunch?”

I said I would and three months later we got engaged and in three months we’re going to get married.

I’ve often admired the trust and acceptance that religious people have in a “bigger plan” that enables them to go with the flow, not knowing where it’s going to lead them and yet being comfortable that it is what is meant to be. From my non-religious perspective, I see that as recognizing that there are situations when you can try too hard and when you do it’s like pushing a truck uphill. And once that realization hits, the trick of course is to let go and know that whatever happens, happens for the best.

Often times those moments of realization are memorable, moments when our thinking is so clear and focused. Kristi’s (@divorcetohappy) recollection of her conversation with her friend is one such moment. And then after letting go what she had been working at so hard, she walked right into a relationship that was meant to be. She even talks of the details of wedding proposal being part God’s plan for her.

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  • http://www.workeasy4lifebalance.com Jacque Small

    In my experience it is not only religious people that can have this faith that there is a plan for us, a natural of unfolding of what would be magical in our life. I believe this is available to anyone who is willing to open themselves up to a spiritual understanding — there is something bigger in this world than us — be it God, or Universal Energy.

    For me as I have changed and opened up my thinking to see the world in a new more positive light, I also opened myself up to Spirituality. As I have dropped off my emotional baggage from the past it is easier for me to be present to my intuition and my inner knowing. This has made it significantly easier to follow the signs that God is showing me.

    And magic appears.

    Jacque Small http://www.workeasy4lifebalcance.com

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/SinceMyDivorce SinceMyDivorce

    Hi Jacque – how did you open up your thinking? Was it a process that happened gradually? Did you attend a series of classes? Did some books help you? In other words, what helped you open up spirituality?

  • http://www.mplsmom.blogspot.com Jules

    I love you post! I went through almost the exact transformation after my divorce. I talk about my life list on my blog and how I created it after I felt like I had the world at my feet. It's easy to fall back into old behavior in a relationship. I respect that you can recognize this! Relationships are hard- but I always remind myself that I know how to love right- its just as important that who I'm with knows how to love right too! :) Great blog! Thanks for sharing…


    • http://intensedebate.com/people/SinceMyDivorce SinceMyDivorce

      Would love to know more about your transformation. I'm off to visit your blog…. Are you interested in sharing your sharing on Since My Divorce?

  • Sam

    My Wife commited Adultery 6 times, then she left me.
    Then after 2yrs she Divorced me. I have read Gods Word, so i may know His Will.
    This is some of what I learned.
    What God has joined together, let no man separate.
    A wife is bound to her husband as long as he live’s.
    whosoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits Adultery.
    And whosoever marries the Divorced woman, commits Adultery.
    A wife Must NOT separate from her husband, but if she does she Must remain unmarried or reconcile with her husband.
    God hates Divorce.
    There are many more the same.
    Cut a long story short, Remarriage while your spouse still lives is Adultery in the eye’s of The LORD.
    Hope this help’s :))

    • Anonymous

      Hi Sam, Yes, infidelity always hurts. I don’t share your religious beliefs and I obviously do support divorce when a marriage is no longer working. Your comment underscores the importance of really talking to your partner about your religious beliefs BEFORE committing to marriage. I think most of us go into marriage never expecting to get divorced and so don’t talk about divorce before we get married.

      Would your religious beliefs prevent you from getting remarried even though you are divorced now? Does it mean that you don’t intend to have another intimate relationship as long your ex is alive?

      • ACA

        The betrayed spouse is free to lawfully (God’s law) re-marry. The  unfaithful spouse either remains single, reconciles with the first spouse, or lives in adultery in an affairage (affair-marriage). As “harsh” as these options sound for the unfaithful spouse, their poor choices brought all this upon themselves in the first place.

        • Recently-D

          I am somewhat a religious person, I believe in him and pray as many times as I can. We are all siners people. I divorced my wife due to cruelty and mental abuse on top of that a HUGE lack of intimacy and not to mention always a one way street when reciprocating nice gestures. I certainly wish I could have followed in the right foot steps in accordance to the GOD and divorce. But I think at the same time the Lord want us to live in peace and enjoy the life he has given us. Furthermore, I think that GOD teaches us and perhaps those initial marriages were lessons to what was to come. Just my view…

          • http://sincemydivorce.com Mandy Walker

            Recently-D – disclosure – I am not a religious person but I do know and respect that a person’s faith can be a source of tremendous comfort and strength through divorce. It has saddened me to hear from people who’ve been unable to find that support from their church and they, like you have concluded that the God they believe in would not turn away from them in their time of need.

  • http://www.compellingcounsel.com/about/who-we-are-kanata-ottawa-lawyers.php Mike Clark

    Wow. What a nice story. It’s like one of those movies. Hehe! Well seriously, at least Kristi got this “right guy” for her after suffering from an awful divorce.

  • Christian

    Completely appalled by this. It seems to me that the most important thing to ‘Kristi’ is ‘Kristi her happiness’.. at the expense of who ever, regardless of whatever the Bible says. It sickens me how this story infers that God in some way is quite happy for a person in a difficult marriage to QUIT on their VOWS to both God and their spouse… and then implicate God as being stood outside the courtroom offices, with a smile on his face, ready to lead you on into the next marriage – to bless you… and if that fails the next marriage – to bless you.. and so on and so forth.
    People – WAKE UP!! There is a REASON God expressly states he hates divorce, and makes such a HGE deal through the whole of scripture about one of the toughest, hardest and most difficult things a human can do… ***FORGIVE***
    Yes, you may present your case for abuse, for adultery, for WHATEVER… but when you MARRY someone – you marry them ***NO MATTER WHAT***… and as a Christian – do you know why we know this to be true? Because as in so many ways, Christ is our example – and Christ IS God’s FORGIVENESS to US – whilst we were yet still sinners,,, (Romans 5:8).
    It is my strong belief that a site like this should in NO way be encouraging or advocating in anyway a person’s decision to divorce – and given that someone HAS divorced a spouse – they need to be brought to repentance (no matter HOW ‘good’ or ‘right’ they thought they were in the marriage or decision to divorce)…. and counselled towards ANY possibilities for reconciliation to their spouse – and I don’t care if their spouse is in prison, rehab or whatever… listen to this: “God does NOT exist for our HAPPINESS… but for HIS GLORY”. And he will NOT trade-out his glory being shown through a difficult period of forgiveness and reconciliation.. for the sake of ‘Kristi’ or others like her wanting a second (..and ‘sweeter’) bite of the cherry..!

    • http://sincemydivorce.com Mandy Walker

      Dear Christian, I suspect our perspectives on divorce are vastly different. I’ve been open that I am a non-believer and so I am not going to debate what the Bible does or does not say. I have seen many people turn to their faith for support through the end of their marriage and I know how important it has been to them to be able to hold onto their faith. It always saddens me when someone’s faith community isn’t able to support them at the time when it is needed the most.

  • Bravo Ogbe

    I want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr AB who brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows an Ad pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn’t worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully deed what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.that’s why i want to say a big thank you to Dr ABU This great man made me to understand that theirs no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email himABUSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM