Married, divorced, no regrets

In yesterday’s post, Kristen talked about not looking back on your life and feeling that you’ve wasted it. I think there’ s a temptation to do that when you’re divorced because our culture still bills marriage as a “unto death do us part” deal, even though 50 percent of first marriages in the United States are projected to end in divorce. However, Kristen has a perspective that I think many of us can share.

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The path you travel leaves many surprises and twists and turns, and mistakes and roadblocks but I think this was something that was meant to happen in my life because I have my two little girls who make me extremely happy and fill my life with so much joy.

I would also say, how would I ever know how happy I am and what I want in a partner and the feelings that I feel, if I didn’t go through something that didn’t fulfill that in the first place. I think my marriage was another part of the puzzle for me.

I’ve found tremendous happiness and my girls know that. There’s this little extra smile on their mom and a little bit more energy. I think they feel that and that makes me happy.

I can’t imagine my life without my girls and if I had never married my ex, I never would have had them.

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After my interview with Kristen, I watched my daughter as she walked up the stairs and pondered the fact that she simply would not exist if I had not married my ex. It was one of those profound moments of light – that it was only me and my ex who could have created her, that if I had married someone else I would probably have had children but I wouldn’t have had her.  How could I ever regret my marriage?

Having no regrets doesn’t mean of course, ignoring it and pushing it into darkness – that’s how we make the same mistakes again. As Anka, shared, it is an opportunity to find out how you could change your own behavior to find happiness.