Why custody negotiations are scary

I've just read an article on Huffington Post's divorce section, 'The Biggest Divorce Don't of All' which argues for couples sticking together and not divorcing. There are a number of points that I disagree with but one that I do concur on is that often times people approach divorce thinking that it'll all be over once the divorce is final. What they don't have is a true understanding of what life … [Continue reading...]

Negotiating parenting time

After our little Thanksgiving break, I'd like to pick up Julia's story again. You'll recall that Julia had been married for seven years when her husband said he wanted a divorce. He changed his mind a few months later but by then Julia had come to realize that life as a single parent would be better than the emotionally abusive marriage. A divorce may mean the end of the marriage but when … [Continue reading...]

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love it for its simplicity, for the absence of gifts and the family time. My siblings are in England and South Africa, my former in-laws are in the Boston area and so family to me this year means me, my daughter and my son. I do know people who are able to celebrate Thanksgiving with their ex but I'm not there and truthfully, I'm not sure I ever will … [Continue reading...]

The mistake of waiving alimony

Julia has already shared what life with her husband was like - all the impossible little rules she tried so hard to meet but inevitably couldn't, the emotional control that made the idea of being a single parent more appealing than marriage. Having made the decision to end the marriage, Julia still had to go through the divorce process, a process that rarely seems easy and a process that requires … [Continue reading...]

Losing weight after divorce

When Julia made the decision to end her seven-year marriage, she was making a decision to reclaim her life. That meant rebuilding her self-esteem by going back to teaching and furthering her career by going back to school.  It also meant undergoing gastric bypass. I asked Julia to talk about why that was important to her. Here's Julia: [contemplate1]To be thin was something I had always wanted … [Continue reading...]

Week in Review

It's been a busy, hectic week with not much time for cruising the Internet so my Week-In-Review is brief this week. Divorce coach Claudia Broome has a series of short posts on advice for dealing with divorce attorneys: How to Save Money; The Retainer; Do You Need a Lawyer? and Red Flags. It'll probably take no more ten minutes to read all of these and in my opinion, Claudia's offering sound … [Continue reading...]

Getting your children to support you

After Julia's husband said he wanted a divorce and moved out, Julia recognized she needed to rebuild her self-esteem. For Julia, that meant going back to teaching. She found the perfect opportunity and soon it wasn't only her students who recognized her excellent teaching skills.  Being a self-admitted over-achiever, Julia wanted more but the path forward was blocked. Enlisting the support of her … [Continue reading...]