Choosing a credit card post-divorce

No matter how well you think you know your spouse, the end of your marriage may bring out some unexpected and unpleasant behaviors. I've had several women tell me their access to marital funds was cutoff by their husband. That happened to Grace and she now tells women that regardless of the state of their marriage, having a bank account and a credit card in their own name are … [Continue reading...]

Fit4Love: The Relationship Scan

Flirting

In case you missed my news, I'm going through a coaching program called Fit4Love and I'll be blogging about it as I go. The program consists of ten sessions with the ultimate goal of making me feel confident and competent about dating and since it's been almost twenty-four years since I've dated, I really do need help. For each session, I have a homework assignment to be completed 24 hours in … [Continue reading...]

Reader Question: Should you talk to your ex about dating?

I recently got this question from a reader: My counselor asked if my ex and I, who have been divorced for about 8 months, had discussed how we would handle dating with the kids. That's a conversation I couldn't even imagine having! How would you even open the discussion? Since I have not dated yet, it's not a topic I've broached with my ex and he hasn't raised it with me, which doesn't mean he's … [Continue reading...]

You control your happiness

Happiness

In yesterday's post, Divorce is a change not an end, Molly said she'd learned much about herself that she wouldn't have learned if she'd stayed married. She told me that her most significant learning centered around her happiness. Here's Molly: [contemplate1] I control my own happiness. No one else is responsible for it. I realized that I was in a lot of ways, while I was married, blaming my … [Continue reading...]

Divorce is a change not an end

Your perspective of divorce will change

One of my universal truths about divorce is that your perspective on divorce will change once you experience it. Os I wasn't surprised when my current guest, Molly author of the blog, Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce said her perspective of divorce had changed in a million ways. Here's Molly: [contemplate1] I don’t see divorce as a failure anymore. In fact, I think that sometimes it’s a hard … [Continue reading...]

Why Stay Friends With Your Ex?

Like so much else to do with post-divorce life, staying friends with your ex isn't a black and white issue and nor is it static. I've interviewed women who never speak to their ex either because the divorce was so acrimonious or because without children, they have no reason to talk. At the other end of the spectrum are ladies like Molly, who still count their ex as a friend. I asked Molly why … [Continue reading...]

You can still do family dinner nights after divorce

When my current guest, Molly mentioned that her ex still joins her and her children each week for Friday night family dinners, I was curious. I understood Molly wanted to see her ex as a good guy and was determined that her family was not going to 'broken' by divorce, but as Judy Osborne observed, some separations can be overly-friendly at first as each partner adjusts to the new boundaries. I … [Continue reading...]