Being healthy after divorce

Softball for fun

Today, I'd like to introduce you to Terry who writes the blog, Scribblings of a Soccer Mom. Terry's first marriage ended more than three years ago after she and her husband had been together for fifteen years. She was thirty-five then and their two children - a girl and a boy - were eleven and nine. Both Terry and her ex are remarried now. At age twenty-seven, Terry was diagnosed with … [Continue reading...]

Your options for dealing with debt after divorce

Erasing debt

One of my universal truths about divorce is that it always changes your financial situation and most often, it means doing more with less. For many people, divorce also means debt. This month's financial guest post from Suzanne Cramer is about ways to handle debt after divorce. Here's Suzanne: [contemplate1] Debt may have been the cause of your divorce, a catalyst, or just the result of the … [Continue reading...]

I used to think divorce was the plague

My current guest, Antonia came from a tightly-knit family with a strong Italian heritage. A family where divorce didn't happen and and long-term marriages were the norm. With that background, I asked Antonia how her two divorces had changed her perspective on divorce. Here's Antonia: [contemplate1] I used to think divorce was the plague! It was Satan, it was like “people don’t get divorced,” … [Continue reading...]

Adjusting to living alone

dishwasher

Antonia (author of Taking Out the Trash) was twenty-four when she married the first time and twenty-eight when she divorced. She was married again for two years in her early thirties. Now, at thirty-nine, she's mastered the art of living alone. Here's Antonia: [contemplate1] I was never spoiled, but my father worked very hard and my sisters and I, we each got a car on our sixteenth birthdays, … [Continue reading...]

Feeling that divorce means failure

Divorce cake

When I asked Antonia Ragozzini what the hardest part about getting divorced was for her, without a moment's hesitation she said, "feeling like a failure." I think that many of us have felt that way and I think too that it's an inevitable conclusion when you go into marriage believing it is a lifelong commitment. While there is no denying that your marriage vows are broken, it's important to … [Continue reading...]

When divorce means no children

No children

In the last couple of posts, we've talked about our culture of marriage, the expectation that marriage comes with adulthood. I think there is also the expectation that we will have children and for most of us, that expectation is met by our own desires. Although medical advancements have made it safer for older women to give birth, and the choice to become a single mom is more acceptable today, … [Continue reading...]

Learning to love yourself

Reading Alone

Antonia believes that the culture of marriage within our country was a big reason why she thought she needed to have a man to be complete. That in turn led to a series of poor choices in men. What she came to realize that was that she needed to start by loving herself. Here's how she did that: [contemplate1] I stopped focusing on men and dating and chasing after the dream, the white picket … [Continue reading...]