Seeing your ex as a good guy

A different kind of kid's bike

One of the realizations many people come to soon after divorce, is that if you couldn't control your ex when you were living with him, then you certainly can't control him now and you have to be more trustful about his parenting decisions. For my current guest, Molly, that means being more prepared to "let things go" when they're not important enough to argue about. It also means consciously … [Continue reading...]

Dealing with post-divorce disagreements

Figure out your conflict resolution style

When Molly talked about a peaceful divorce, her words kept echoing in my head. "Peaceful is not a place that you arrive to and never change after that. It's continually a process." That means co-parenting with your ex is going to be an evolving and changing process that will inevitably mean disagreements. In the early days following separation, those disagreements can be frequent, both you … [Continue reading...]

Peace and divorce can go together

Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce

My current guest, Molly writes the blog, Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce. Aside from being a beautiful, calming title, I had all manner of questions about it because one of my universal truths is that all divorces are painful. Is there such thing as a peaceful divorce? Was it something Molly and her ex committed to as a goal? Is it something that comes from fighting against divorce for so long? … [Continue reading...]

When Divorce Is Not An Option

Wedding vows are a central part of most wedding ceremonies. Perhaps more than the legalities, it is these vows and our beliefs in marriage that make ending a marriage so hard. They're what make us believe that divorce is not an option. Today I'd like to introduce you to Molly who writes the blog, Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce. Don't be fooled by the blog title. Molly would be the first to … [Continue reading...]

Adding new partners to the coparenting mix

This is the last post in this series with author and marriage and family therapist, Judy Osborne about her book, Wisdom for Separated Parents. The interviewees in the book have all been through divorce but unlike most of my guests, there's been a significant passage of time since the end of their marriages. For some, it's ten years while others it's over thirty years. Inevitably, there are stories … [Continue reading...]

Bound to your ex through commitment and events

For my current series, I talked to author and marriage and family therapist, Judy Osborne about her book, Wisdom for Separated Parents. The book is a collection of stories from divorced parents, about how they've stayed connected over the years and seeks to create a new model for families after divorce, a model on continuing kinship. In my interview with Judy, I asked her what it took for former … [Continue reading...]

Still Connected To Your Ex After Thirty-Six Years

Wisdom for Separated Parents

When you get divorced and you have children together with your STBX, chances are you'll stay in touch. You could even still be connected with your ex after thirty-six years of living apart. Continuing with this series about my interview with author and marriage and family therapist, Judy Osborne, Judy talks about her own separation and some of the transitions in her relationship with her ex. … [Continue reading...]