Talking about divorce

Girlfriend chat

I have some staple questions I like to ask my guests such as, "What do you regard as your most significant accomplishment since your divorce? Why is it so significant?" In this final post in Jen's story, Jen responds to another staple, "How has your view about divorce changed?" Here's Jen: [contemplate1] I’ll be honest, I would say I was probably pretty judgmental about other people who had … [Continue reading...]

The power of prayer

Prayer

I believe that all divorces are traumatic and emotionally difficult but there are some divorces that are especially challenging, like Debbie who found out her husband was a pedophile, like Kay whose husband came out as gay after twenty-five years and like Barbara who was left with virtually nothing when her husband left to be a dealer in Las Vegas. Jen's divorce was devastating - realizing she … [Continue reading...]

Would you consider this dating?

Facebook

Jen has been separated for some eighteen months now and legally divorced for six. She's got her hands full with working and going to school and raising her three boys but she's getting her life back on track with her parents' help. So is there any room for dating in her life? Here's Jen: [contemplate1] I have dated. Not much. I dated this one guy who I really liked, and it cooled off very fast. … [Continue reading...]

Parents to the rescue

Family Dinner

Jen was in her early thirties when her marriage ended. Realizing that she couldn't rely on her ex, she knew that supporting their three young boys would be up to her. With no college education however, her job opportunities were limited so she turned to her parents for help. Here's Jen: [contemplate1] I accomplished so many things this year, but I am stronger than I ever, ever thought possible. … [Continue reading...]

Don’t rely on your ex

Knowing the story behind Jen's divorce ... discovering her husband was a serious gambler and a pathological liar ... it should come as no surprise that he wasn't going to be someone to rely on after the divorce. There were somethings Jen knew right from the very beginning she was on her own and other things she's seen slowly slide during the two years they've been separated. Here's … [Continue reading...]

Telling your children about your divorce

bowling

Once Jen knew she want to end her marriage and she'd told her husband, they still had to tell their children. However, with some helpful guidance, it wasn't as bad as Jen thought it would be. Here's Jen: Our mediator gave us some what I thought was good advice. He said, Your children are going to mirror how you react, so if you sit down and have this ‘woe to me, my family is breaking up’ … [Continue reading...]

Deciding To End Your Marriage

Feeling safe

Jen's husband was diagnosed with cancer at about the same time she was coming to the realization that her marriage was over but between juggling work, her children and her husband's treatment, she needed time to think about the future. Here's Jen: I waited. I didn’t even know what I was going to do when he was sick. I was so occupied with trying to move my house and making sure my kids were … [Continue reading...]