Thinking about divorce?

As SoccerMom, Terry and I were wrapping up our conversation about her life after divorce, I asked her if she had any advice for someone who was thinking about or facing divorce now. Here's what she said: My first advice for anyone considering leaving their marriage or if you have an inkling things aren’t right and they’re probably going to end, try and get a job,  any full-time job with … [Continue reading...]

Terrified of Divorce

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Given that I often read or hear comments about how easy it is to get divorced or how people don't work hard enough at their marriages, I like to ask my guests how their perspective of divorce has changed. My current guest, Terry was thirty-five when her marriage ended. She had been with her husband for fifteen years. In the three years since then she's become healthy, she's gone back to work … [Continue reading...]

Becoming financially self-sufficient

Journalist

When Terry (author of the blog Scribblings of a Soccer Mom) and her husband of eleven years split up, she was a mother of two children who'd been working part-time from home. While she had some alimony, getting back to full-time work was a priority even if it would mean challenges when the children were sick or on school holidays. Terry wanted and needed to be financially self-sufficient. Here's … [Continue reading...]

Single-Parenting And Sick Children

sick child

It's tough being a parent when your children are sick. Most of the time the sickness is unpredictable and comes on at short notice. That's means a sudden change in plans so you can be home to take care of them. When I was married, my husband and I would decide who would stay home - often times it was me because it was easier for me to work from home. With divorce, it's another important area to … [Continue reading...]

Boundaries help with stepparenting

Knowing your children are safe and well-cared for when they are with your ex puts co-parenting on a different level. For starters, it's easier to build trust and communication.  Bringing new partners into the circle also adds another dimension that many of us have no experience dealing with. When Terry realized her former friend was going to be her children's stepmother, she and her ex talked … [Continue reading...]

When Your Friend Becomes Stepmom To Your Kids

One reason why divorce is painful is the feeling of rejection, rejection by your partner who's chosen to pay more attention to something else. That something else can be a multitude of things, drugs, alcohol, a sport or pastime, work, even your children. When there are third parties involved, I believe the rejection can be more painful because the choice appears more blatant. My current guest, … [Continue reading...]

Disciplining your children with your ex

Mom's Timeout

We all know that setting the rules for your children is just one side of the coin. The other side is what happens when they don't follow the rules. Again, this is an area were even happily married partners can disagree so what happens when you're co-parenting with your ex? Here's Terry: [contemplate1] It might be that it’s their dad's weekend, so Thursday night they’re with me. Let’s say my son … [Continue reading...]