When a child says life after divorce is better

I like to think that a big discussion in any divorce is how the children will react. What impact will divorce have on them? What can you do to insulate the children from the pain? It’s a question I always like to ask my interviewees. Kathleen Christensen’s daughter was seven when Kathleen and her husband decided to end their marriage. When I asked Kathleen about her daughter, what she said was a … [Continue reading...]

Transforming your relationship with your ex

A gift

It’s been over four years since Kathleen Christensen and her ex separated. Their divorce was challenging, fraught and exhausting. Using the collaborative divorce process, however, they were able to build a foundation for their new relationship as co-parents. Now, unlike with many traditional divorces, Kathleen is able to see the positives in her ex. In the final segment of Kathleen’s story, here’s … [Continue reading...]

Getting to a settlement through your child

When I was getting divorced, I remember being very close to having a final financial agreement but my ex was balking on a final point. At the same time, my attorney was telling me she would have to start preparing to go to court if he didn’t sign soon. I really hoped to avoid the expense associated with a court hearing. So when Kathleen Christensen, who was using the collaborative divorce process, … [Continue reading...]

Safety And Flexibility In A Detailed Parenting Plan

In the previous post about developing a parenting plan around your child, Kathleen Christensen shared that the relationship between her and her ex had gotten so bad at one point that Kathleen would only talk about substantive issues if they were meeting with their lawyers or their psychologist. Amazingly, Kathleen says, now, after three years of living apart they are able to talk to each other and … [Continue reading...]

A Parenting Plan Driven By Your Child

Google Calendar

I think by now you have an idea of how challenging divorce was for Kathleen Christensen. Just to refresh your memories, Kathleen was married for about nine years and their daughter was seven when they separated. Kathleen has described the co-parenting relationship she has now as a miracle. She credits not only the collaborative divorce process for this but also the decision to work with a … [Continue reading...]

Building for the future with a collaborative divorce

Continuing in this series with Kathleen Christensen, she talked previously about the collaborative divorce she and her ex negotiated. Looking back, she says that process had a benefit that she didn't recognize at the time. Here's what she told me. We were really building the relationship for the future. We were building a healthy relationship and a foundation. I think a lot of people are able … [Continue reading...]

A collaborative divorce is not an easy divorce

In my last post I introduced Kathleen Christensen who described the relationship she now has with her ex as a miracle. She says that's due in large part to the "collaborative divorce" which doesn't refer to the way she and her ex worked together but rather a very specific divorce process. Here's how she described it to me. [contemplate1]You each have your own lawyer and we would meet with our … [Continue reading...]