Taking Off Your Wedding Ring

A wedding ring symbolizes so much – love, commitment, loyalty, bond. It’s not just a piece of jewelry so it’s no wonder that taking off your wedding ring is such an emotional decision. And because it is an emotional decision, the timing is up to you. You get to decide when it’s right for you.

Here’s how my current guest, RMJ decided it was time to take off her wedding ring:

I took my wedding ring off probably about four or five months before my divorce came through. We’d been separated then for more than three years.

When you're ready to talk about the end of your marriage.is time to take off your wedding ringI could have taken it off once I decided we were separating, but I kept it on because I’d been a married woman forever and I still was married even though in my head and my heart the marriage was over.

Maybe I also kept it on because subconsciously I had this feeling that being in the church and everything, I was not even divorced and if I took off my wedding ring maybe people would think I was looking for male attention or something when I was still married.

My ex-husband hadn’t worn his for about a decade, but one day, I just kept thinking and thinking, “You need to take this off.  The ring symbolizes something.  What it symbolizes no longer exists.”

Then I just felt at peace with myself when I took it off.

I do still have my ring.  I still keep it in my jewelry box.  I still like what a wedding ring is meant to symbolize and even though my own marriage didn’t work out, I still hold to the kind of ideals of what a wedding ring is supposed to mean.

Getting divorced doesn’t mean I don’t believe in marriage and what it’s supposed to stand for.

Deciding when to take off your wedding ring is not just about knowing and accepting your marriage is over. It’s about being ready to tell everyone else because people will notice you’re not wearing your ring and someone will ask.

I took mine off a few weeks after we told our children we were divorcing but before my ex moved out and before we were divorced. By then my ex and I had been discussing divorce for about seven months and even if he hadn’t accepted it, for me, the marriage was absolutely over. Since we were still living in the same house, I would assume he noticed but he didn’t say anything and neither did my children.

I don’t remember anyone asking me about my ring but that could be because I was very ready by then to go public and it didn’t bother me.

When did you take off your wedding ring? How did you decide the time was right? If you’re still wearing your ring, why?

P.S. Wondering what to do with your ring? You could create a family ring,

RMJ blogs at Remembering My Journey were she writes, beautifully about being an African, a Christian and divorced.

Photo Credit: 2012© Jupiter Images Corporation

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  • Mark Keenan

    How long did it take before the shadow ring dissapeared, The one underneath the ring which married men find so hard to disguise?

    • rmj

      Gosh, I don’t remember exactly, but I want to say about 6 months.

  • Strugglingforeverafter

    Timing on this post is so serendipitous ! I just ordered a word ring for 2013 to wear instead of my ring… I felt that I didn’t want to have NO ring…

    • http://sincemydivorce.com Mandy Walker

      Haven’t heard of a word ring … what does yours say? I have quite a few rings and often wear a ring but I tend not to wear them on my wedding ring finger – funny how we’re conditioned…