Wisdom From Divorce: Divorce Always Hurts

When people try to make sense of a friend’s divorce they often ask questions like, “Whose decision was it? Who filed for divorce? Who wanted the divorce?”  What I’ve learned is these questions don’t carry much meaning. There’s always more to the story. Here’s what my interviewee, Maryan had to say:

I think there is a big difference for women who do the leaving versus those who are left. Either way there’s hurt that you have to get over. But it’s so important to deal with it and move forward. You have the rest of your life – live it!

I agree with Maryan – divorce always hurts. There’s always grief. The major difference is the timing of that grief. For the leaver, the grief comes in the months, sometimes years, leading up to the decision. For those who are left, the grief comes after the decision is known. You do have to confront that grief – there is no avoiding it but once confronted, it clears your path to the future.

Read more about Maryan’s story here.

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  • Polly

    HI. I too am working on a new career after divorce. The ink is still wet on my divorce and I am still in the re-training part of my transition. I was married for 18 years. I worked for 13 of them, and was an at-home mom for the last 5 years. I am back in school full-time working towards a teaching certificate. I am going to be a teacher. This will give me the opportunity to work with kiddo’s (my passion) and be available for my own 2. This is scary, but I also know that I will make it!
    Thank you for your stories, I enjoy the encouraging messages!
    Polly